First thing I have to say is I’m so sorry for what your you and your family are going through. I will add you all to my prayers. This is horrifying.

I’d like to first mention what forgiveness isn’t. It’s not excusing anyone’s behavior. It’s not saying what they’re doing is okay. It definitely doesn’t mean that once they’re forgiven you have to pretend like nothing happened. Forgiveness is not about saying yeah yeah that’s fine.

What forgiveness is. Forgiveness is giving your right for retribution and condemnation to God. You’re going to let God handle the soul and payment for what they’ve done. You put it in God’s hands both because revenge belongs to Him only, but also if this person turns to God and repents and tries to rebuild relationships then God will give him Mercy just like he’s given all of us. But the issue is no longer yours you’ve given it to God.

How is this important? For one thing we know by scripture that includes the Lord’s prayer, that he will forgive us in the same way we forgive others. Your soul very much depends on how you forgive. Please turn this over to Him and forgive.

It’s also important because now that you’ve given up your right for vengeance and hurt, This person’s actions will no longer cause potentially sinful thoughts inside of you that could potentially harm your soul or even turn you from Holy life by his grace. You’ve given it to God to handle the correction or mercy.

None of this means that you should tolerate abuse, ignore what this person is still doing and act like it’s okay. Stand up for what’s right, or if it’s safer, pray in your quietness. It’s just now that you’ve forgiven (given Jesus the right to prosecute as he sees fit) you can surrender your anger and right for revenge through prayer.

All of this is hard. It’s not a Cakewalk. But don’t let the abuser threaten your salvation or your love. Give it to Jesus. Please.

I know this from experience. My biggest hurdle in forgiving was also my father. That being done, I stopped my father, through the grace of Jesus, from harming my soul. What a beautiful Grace forgiving is. Thank you Lord.

I’m going to add you and your family to my daily prayers. May the Lord bless you and keep you 🙏🏻