She told me last Friday, through tears, that she’d been sexually active and thought she might be pregnant. I bought her a couple tests, she took them and she was right. We’re a very devout Evangelical family. My husband is a part time pastor.
Obviously, my views on sex is that she shouldn’t be having it. I knew she liked this boy, but I did not know they had that sort of relationship. The boy is a nice young man whose parents attend our church. We know them. It’s a good family.
She’s super scared, which is completely understandable. I’ve stayed away from shaming her about her sexual activity because it’s not what she needs. She’s very aware that abortion is NOT an option, period. We’ll take care of her through this and love that baby.
It’s just a shock. I’m not even 40 yet and I just had twins a few months ago. She’s the oldest of 8. Maybe she felt like she doesn’t get enough attention here. But she’s my daughter and she’s pregnant with my grandchild and I pray that God gives her the strength she needs.
I just want to say thank you for not shunning her. My sister-in-law got pregnant and my brother was pretty scared to tell us, but we made the choice to celebrate the life that was coming into the world and now they are married so it really all worked out. But I know many women who were shunned by their parents when they got pregnant at a young age and it was so traumatic for them.
At that age, they already know what they did and that it was wrong. Celebrating the baby coming into the world doesn’t mean you’re celebrating the sin or encouraging it. She’s scared, you’re shocked, there’s a lot of mixed emotions here but going forward hopefully she makes better choices and you all can celebrate a beautiful new life.
And it sounds like it’s a good family and the kid will have a good father which is the best case given the scenario. Hopefully his family will be just as understanding and that the two families can come together to support the new child – and the parents as they try to embrace this unexpected twist in their life.
“I’ve stayed away from shaming her…”
Good. It’s OK for her to be scared. It’s OK for you to be shocked. But, from what I see, you’re handling things correctly. Shame, scolding, turning away…. there’s no place for that in this situation. I hope the young future parents get married, but they should take the marriage seriously. Kids are not a good sole reason to get married.
This might turn into a little “church scandal”, as the father’s family also attends your church…but you’ll be fine. I remember when our church’s head pastor’s 17 yr old daughter got pregnant. The church threw no shame the family’s way. We gathered around them for support. I wish you and your family nothing but the best.