That is so heavy. I’m so sorry. I don’t see any benefit to telling your dad about it, but this would definitely be worth getting a good counselor for your own sanity because that’s a LOT for you to mentally deal with on your own. Just having someone you can pour it all out to might help you a lot.

Ok, now I understand the situation better. Since you already have partial custody, see if you can continue to keep it so that you can still patent him. But if both the father and son are truly fighting you, and he’s only two years away from graduating then you might want to pray about what kind of relationship you want with your child.

He may be frustrated and angry with you, but if you can handle it then fine. If you are Ok with “wrestling” with him for two more years, do it. I think it’s worth the effort since he’s already living with you. And your new marriage is well established. (It would be different if he was not used to a new stepdad.) However it would be advisable to make sure that you have no financial responsibility for your son if he does decide to move in with his dad, and also after graduating high school.

There should be known, real consequences for not obeying you and leaving your care. That is not being retaliatory, that is being smart with your own responsibility and stating that “if you don’t want to listen to my good advice and parenting, then you should provide for yourself or your father should provide for you” I suspect his dad will “clearly see” the problems once he takes him into his own care. Usually it is like that.