All my life I have known my dad to be an upstanding man of God. He used to sit my me and my siblings bedside and teach us stories about the Bible, play games with us, give us advice. Everyone in our family and community loves and respects him.
Until yesterday that is.
I’ve known he has been cheating on my mom since I was around 8 years old and never told anyone because I didn’t want to break up my family. My little sister found out some time later and eventually told our mom. To my great surprise, she stayed. We have a little brother who is autistic and needs a lot of support so the fracturing of our family would be devastating for him, so I was happy to see things stay as they were. As selfish as that might have been.
As time went on, things were definitely suspicious at times but I guess we were content to keep a blind eye to keep the peace. Long and frequent trips to another country were the main thing that gave me pause but I didn’t want to believe he was up to something despite knowing in my heart it was likely. The day after my graduation party, he drops a bomb that he is leaving my mother. Obviously I was broken up about it but I didn’t cry in front of him. I love my mom so much, she put up with so much for him only for him to do her like this.
Yesterday, he starts interrogating us about how his side chick in this other country is getting threatened and apparently we’re the ones doing it. He went as far as messaging my mothers sisters, nieces and cousins as apparently they were harassing this woman too. To my shock, he took her side and believed her over all of us, thus humiliating my mother.
I want to know how he could do something like that to her. And I don’t want to hear the tired “well we’re all broken by sin—“ thing because that isn’t cutting it. No one knows better than him what pleases and displeases God. Why has he chosen this woman over his own flesh and blood? His children? I’m 21 and can’t look him in the eye. I was a daddy’s girl and now I’m disgusted. I know I should forgive but I don’t see how this is possible.
Simple, he values the things of this world over the things that are Holy.
You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?
We’re all given the opportunity to choose what we truly want in this life, if you want to continue to show love too him you do so. If you don’t want to, you have that choice too.
I suggest you pray about it, and hope for the best outcome. It’s adultery, plain and simple, and has been going on since who knows when.
Men tend to fall for lustful things in this world, as do some women, but in the end it’s the children of yahweh who will inherit what yahweh promised us.
Peace and blessing too you, I am sorry that this tragedy is something you have to experience.
First thing I have to say is I’m so sorry for what your you and your family are going through. I will add you all to my prayers. This is horrifying.
I’d like to first mention what forgiveness isn’t. It’s not excusing anyone’s behavior. It’s not saying what they’re doing is okay. It definitely doesn’t mean that once they’re forgiven you have to pretend like nothing happened. Forgiveness is not about saying yeah yeah that’s fine.
What forgiveness is. Forgiveness is giving your right for retribution and condemnation to God. You’re going to let God handle the soul and payment for what they’ve done. You put it in God’s hands both because revenge belongs to Him only, but also if this person turns to God and repents and tries to rebuild relationships then God will give him Mercy just like he’s given all of us. But the issue is no longer yours you’ve given it to God.
How is this important? For one thing we know by scripture that includes the Lord’s prayer, that he will forgive us in the same way we forgive others. Your soul very much depends on how you forgive. Please turn this over to Him and forgive.
It’s also important because now that you’ve given up your right for vengeance and hurt, This person’s actions will no longer cause potentially sinful thoughts inside of you that could potentially harm your soul or even turn you from Holy life by his grace. You’ve given it to God to handle the correction or mercy.
None of this means that you should tolerate abuse, ignore what this person is still doing and act like it’s okay. Stand up for what’s right, or if it’s safer, pray in your quietness. It’s just now that you’ve forgiven (given Jesus the right to prosecute as he sees fit) you can surrender your anger and right for revenge through prayer.
All of this is hard. It’s not a Cakewalk. But don’t let the abuser threaten your salvation or your love. Give it to Jesus. Please.
I know this from experience. My biggest hurdle in forgiving was also my father. That being done, I stopped my father, through the grace of Jesus, from harming my soul. What a beautiful Grace forgiving is. Thank you Lord.
I’m going to add you and your family to my daily prayers. May the Lord bless you and keep you 🙏🏻